Agreed. Much to learn from my two, very different BDs. Both initiated by me.
In the first, while I was far from perfect, it was more about her getting caught up in an EA with an old flame reconnected on social media, that just snowballed. He was married, unavailable, and she didn't want to leave me anyway. She immediately committed back to the MR. I got lazy again and my behavior became even worse. I eventually discovered another EA. This time she was full blown WW, and didn't want to save the MR. It took me doing my own work to finally get her to do her own work as well. It took a lot longer, was a lot harder, but I now realize that my changes have to be for life, and not just until the problems blow over.
I DB'd in both. But in the first my DBing was half-hearted and my 180s temporary. The learning here is that you as the LBS HAS to do the work, regardless of what your WAS/WS does.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
