What your wife is exhibiting is very normal for someone who is starting to warm/wake up a bit.
Reconnection is the hardest part of the journey and it takes lots of patience and duct tape during this process. What has happened is that you've stuffed your feelings for a long while on the journey and now that she is warming up, you are looking for more from her at the moment. It took her 18-24 months to enter the crisis and once the warming up begins it could take that long, if longer for her to fully return to reality.
At some point, when she is ready and feels safe, she will want to come to talk to you about some of what went on w/herself and her behavior. Some of the MLCers will want to shove everything under a rug and forget it, but it does need to be addressed.
Gordie, stay the course. I know you want this to be over yesterday and things back to normal and her admitting her roll in all of this...but it's not the time yet. It will come...just not today, tomorrow or even next week...but it will come. Dig deeper for patience and know that the path you are on is the right one for you.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
