Go ask around to find a good one, and ask the people who recommend them why they are good. Make sure they are aggressive. I don't know if it matters, but I was told that as a man you are better off with a woman lawyer in family court. I had 2 strong referrals that I got from non-family lawyers that said the referrals had really good reputations for being brutal and getting their clients what they want. The one I would have used found out who my W lawyer was and said he was just a big pu$$y and we were going to run W through the ringer. I dropped hints about what my prospective lawyer said in the consultation. It put a bit of the fear of God in W and we decided to be amicable and go the mediator/lawyer route. In the end it saved us a lot of money and an amicable child plan. If we didn't have kids the end result may have been different. Having kids meant that being amicable was in the best interest of the kids.
Who exactly should I ask? I really don’t have much in terms of a support group around here (non-SoCal native; my family is back east, and I don’t exactly feel like letting something like this slip at work just yet). I also know that my employer has an EAP, with legal services available, including lawyers and mediators, FWIW.
I have considered getting a female lawyer / mediator—that I do know.
I’ve been told here to lawyer up, but should I? Or should we go mediation? I do understand that it can save us $ and hopefully not makes things between W and I that much worse.
