A familiar story with questions EIGHT

[RR17]

"And now we welcome the new year. Full of things that have never been."
—Rainer Maria Rilke

I read this in a Psychology article and thought of this group. As every day brings opportunity, a new year brings closure on the last year and promises of change and new ways.

I know that during my darkest days of DB the thing that helped the most was stopping and breathing an reminding myself that if I could just make it through that day, that tomorrow would be different. Most of the time it was different. We strive to work on ourselves and to captain our interactions with our spouses. Not controlling the outcomes but in exercising our self-control. How we respond and don't react. Self-differentiation is a better attitude than No Expectations. We are human and will always have expectations. Our attachment to these expectations is where we gain control. Not of our WAW/WW, not of our MR but of our own emotional state.

Anyway, no new updates here. I have continued to ponder my intentions to communicate to my W that I don't intend to remain in a sexless marriage indefinitely. Both the pros and cons. There is no hurry and "the how" is more important than the "what" that I say. IMO
I will look for an opportunity to use the touch charges. It has turned out to be challenging after so many months.