Not sure how this fits in with detaching though ... I am GAL'g and 180'g but we don't seem very detached. In fact, we seem very (unhealthily?) attached to one another for two people who are going through a separation.
If you were being torn apart or pushed back and forth emotionally by your Hs actions I'd probably give you different input. But what you are doing seems to be working for the two of you. If you're not hurt, and he's not hurt - why mess with that?
I think detachment is so that you can step back from the emotional slings and arrows. If you aren't being hurt by H then your detachment level seems to be on point IMO.
I would agree with Paco - there are subtleties in how to best DB. Rigidity is necessary for some situations to really allow some space and air to breath. I don't know that your R needs such strict rules.
