Thanks DV. It is nice having someone who still sees hope in my sitch
Turns out we only saw each other for 5 minutes last night (maybe less). I was already on my way up to bed when he got in. We exchanged some pleasantries, had a bit of a laugh about D9 being excited about being able to choose who's bed she would crawl into in the early hours of the morning and then I said "well goodnight, I'm heading up now" and off I went. He was snuggled up with D9 when D12 and I left this morning. I had left him a christmas present on the bed in the spare room (a replacement for the jumper I got him which was too big). I got a text saying thanks for the present and then just some random stuff about D9 still being in bed and their plans for the day. All unnecessary comms. I replied thanks and enjoy your day together. Later in the day he sent me photos of D9 with her new glasses.
I saw him briefly this evening. He stopped by as the kids are staying with him tonight and he forgot D9's lunchbox. Again, pleasantries and then quick goodbyes. Turns out the replacement jumper is now too small but he didn't moan. Just let me know and then suggested some alternatives.
Whilst I was at work today he took down the christmas tree and lights (i took all the decorations down last night), sorted my recycling and put out the rubbish which is being collected tomorrow. Strangely, if he had done the latter in the past I would be sitting here thinking "he put it out a day early because he thinks I'll forget in the morning" but now I just said thank you. I know the proper DB response would be something like "This is no longer your home, please stop treating it like it is" but that just seems cold hearted.
Like I said to my FIL yesterday, my H and I are the most couply non-couple i've ever seen.
Not sure how this fits in with detaching though ... I am GAL'g and 180'g but we don't seem very detached. In fact, we seem very (unhealthily?) attached to one another for two people who are going through a separation.
I would appreciate any advice as to whether I should carry on like this or whether I should implement consequences (as in "you've left - you don't get to treat this like your house anymore", "you've left - I am not your friend anymore").
