I know exactly how you feel ... limbo [censored]. There are times when I want to just shove the papers in his face and have done with it. The few times my H and I have discussed D or even formalising our separation have always been instigated by me. And that is because I was hurting and hurt people do stupid things.
I think you need to understand your motivations for 'doing the leg' work. In my case it was partly because I wanted to shock him into realising what he was throwing away, partly because I wanted to regain some control of my life, and partly (and this is a large part) because I wanted him to feel the hurt I feel. If your W wants to D then she should be the one to do the work. Whether she pushes for a D because she is becoming more secure with OM or needing to secure her financial position or because is just plain being a [censored] does not matter. Her motivations are her own. You cannot control them. You can only control you. Think before you react. Understand your motivations. That is all you can control.
I will say if that she does push for the D, don't make it difficult or awkward for her - obstinance and pettiness are not attractive qualities, but one could say that drafting the paperwork yourself is also obstinant and petty.
Personally I think calling her or even texting her at this stage to say I don't want this divorce (after you've drafted and sent her the paperwork) would look indecisive and weak. Like you were playing mind games, hoping shed back down and when she didn't, got all panicky and are now back to pursuing. The horse has bolted and only she can stop it now. Don't contact her at all. Balls in her court.
What now .. follow Ovrr's advice. Continue living your life. GAL, 180 and detach. I know you've said that you've done this and it doesn't feel like it's helping but that's because you were doing it with one eye on your W. Remember you once wrote on my thread 'they can smell' that we're still waiting for them. You were right. So, this time use the tools for you. It won't mean you will miraculously forget about your W. She will still invade your thoughts. But it will happen less and less if you do the work properly. You will also find that with time, it will matter less and less whether she notices or not.
