Emerging from my fog? (pain18 DB X)

[ovrrnbw]

I feel (with no evidence whatsoever) that a WW is more likely to hit rock bottom first as they needed the affair to give them the strength to leave - if/when the affair ends then the crutch is gone.

I really think they don't need the affair to end to hit "rock bottom", they need the LBS to leave. Once the LBS leaves, they have no one to blame but themselves for picking a POS OM/OW.

She says she tried to be there for me and I keep putting up a wall between her and I.

Maybe you should have 2x4'd her and said oh is that why you got your little boyfriend, for me? I mean seriously, she's in lala land. Not that you can force her out of lala land but you don't really want her living and thinking that way around you.

You also said "Our plan now is to get our debt paid off". Why is this is a joint plan?

And I'm wondering if I have caused more damage in the last couple of months then heal. Because WW sure feels like I hurt her.

The quicker you get strong, stick to your boundaries, and stop letting her eat cake the quicker the damage will stop. I mean this because the IHS is eating you up. The OM is eating you up. You care so much and she doesn't mind hurting you bc she knows she can get away with it. If she doesn't want to move out, I'd consider moving out if I was you. I like the way Davide did that bc it was best for him.

All this stuff has just been building up inside of you, and you're understandably a little bitter and angry with her. When you truly get away from her, you can get better at letter go of those feelings. I just feel like you're stuck. And believe me, this is not a holier than thou assessment, I'm stuck too. It's facing our fears and letting go of the imaginary control we think we have that is hard to do.