13 years and 2 kids pt. 4.

[Hurt213]

Journaling:

So just finished a hectic morning consisting of meetings and catching up one some work related stuff that I am no happy to be finished with, because I am back on track with no left behind issues regarding work.

Not spinning as much today as I have been lately, and appreciate the feedback from yesterday. Woke this morning energized and happy about the day I have ahead of me. I have a meeting in an hours time, and then I am heading off for a gym session with my brother in law. I feel like I have a lot of stuffed up energy I need to get out of my system, so I am gonna go all out today, looking forward to it.

WW texted me at 5.45 this morning asking in a very formal tone about S1s winter clothings (if they were in kindergarten or at home), and I didn't see the text until 8.20. My first thought was that it was too late by now, and to just not respond, but I texted: "I haven't been by the phone before now, sorry. Im sure you figured the clothing out by now".

Later she texted me again about D4 sleeping in her own room (she hasn't been wanting too for the last couple of months - insecurity and nightmares. I know it wasn't a text I needed to respond to, but it made me happy. I wrote "Thank you for letting me know. It is really nice of you to comfort D4 into wanting to sleep in her own bed. I appreciate that."

Then she instantly responded with some follow up chit chat, that I just let pass and didn't respond to as it had nothing to do with kids or finances.

WW is pretty bad at keeping track of her finances, and is generally not used to take care of anything regarding this, so she doesn't quite have the cash available to her as she did when we shared everything. Today she deleted a IC appointment she had planned next week, (she had it in the shared calendar we use for kids related stuff). I am guessing she is either very content with me being out the door and her having life to herself with OM, or the fact that she doesn't have money for it and decided to not go because of that. Anyways, its my NGS kicking in, because its none of my damn business and no longer my damn problem. (I even for a short second thought of helping her pay for IC - then realized that I wouldn't be able to look my self in the mirror if I did that).

So tomorrow I am going to go home to take the kids to gymnastics, haven't seen them since friday. I am looking forward to it. Then when they sleep I will be going to my parents again. And then friday I get them, and I am looking forward to that.

So for the rest of the week I got a trip planned to the cinema, a couple of good long runs, 3 more workouts, two coffee hangouts with friends, going to buy some new clothes, and then relax and recharge, so I am ready to just have a lot of fun and have surplus on the mental account before I get the kids for 7 days, so I can really be there 100% for them. Living with my parents aren't exactly ideal, but hey, its actually alright because I haven't seen them that much lately, so we get to catch up, and with me GAL a lot, its not like we get on each others nerves, since im out of the house a lot of the time anyways.. My parents ask a lot of questions regarding my sitch, and they are really angry with WW, so I am trying to divert the conversations whenever they ask, because its not really helping me either. I think they are slowly realizing that I don't want to talk about it .

When I see WW: upbeat, happy, smiling, listening, validating and otherwise in STFU mode.

Today is great.