Thank you for the thoughts. I sometimes wonder how I’m doing with all this—I feel like I’m all over the map.
If W said to me tonight (unlikely as it is) ILY, pls forgive me let’s make this work, I’m gonna have to say: “ILY. You’ve given me a lot to think about.” And then I’d probably have to put together a list of what to work on / ‘demands’ from her.
But oh yeah I’d be hurt. She did this to me because she’s depressed or whatever? You can’t exactly walk back an ILYBINILWY, and everything else that has happened in the last 10-12 months.
I know she has / had things that she’s been upset about towards me in the past—certain personality traits, bad habits, and the whole non-birth-control stance on my part. But I’m not abusive or adulterous, into drugs / alcohol, I don’t gamble and not into p0rn. NGS traits—yeah, I have at least some.
Sorry to make you tear up or ‘trigger’ (I kinda hate that word, but can’t think of anything else). I have my flaws and faults and ‘what I have done and what I have failed to do,’ but at the end of the day I’m a flawed human being like her and I’m trying to work out some things myself (like I tried before). But this definitely does not feel godly or ‘of God,’ at all. I’ve been trying to offer this up in prayer.
With respect to calling others, I wonder if people can exchange numbers via a private message—I don’t know if that would violate any terms, and I’m not looking to get myself (or anyone else) banned or anything like that.
I’ll keep praying, and I’ll keep fighting—but I’m not totally sure what I’m fighting for, if that makes sense. I do know that if she wants out, I won’t make it easy for her to just up and leave, I know that—if that makes sense.
