Brave Little Gerda, So Chilled She Could Not Speak

[DnJ]

Gerda - You do not pay H for misplaced iPad - ever - I don’t care how much he is at you. No. No. No. It wouldn’t surprise me if he found it and won’t tell you so he can get $700. And there is no way it is worth that amount. Also H gave it to S, therefore H has no more claim to it.

Don’t feel bad for taking away the iPad, sounds like there was misuse and fighting, and parents step in and correct poor behaviour. When you find the misplaced iPad set a firm boundary or rules with its use.

I totally understand your feeling of relief when H is gone for a while. It is amazing how they pick a favourite child, and a least favourite. Currently W’s favourite is S20, and least is between D16 and S18, more towards S18 still.

Like job said, he is the master manipulator/controller. Recognize it and let him spin around on his own, don’t dance along to his tune.

Allow son to talk about all the stuff his dad is doing and saying to him. Reassure him of what is real, and dissuade the stuff that is fantasy. Your son is a smart kid, he knows what’s what, he just needs someone to confirm it.

Might also work on empowering him to find his voice towards his father. “Dad, this is stuff you should talk to Mom about”, that kind of thing. Son doesn’t need all H’s projections and troubles.

You got lots going on. Do try to carve out some Gerda time - she is a pretty nice gal and deserves it.

DnJ