When the WW cries and begs and asks what to do, she wants to be a family again, etc ... How do you know if she really is committed and just doesn't get better at hiding?
You may not remember my story but around 4 years ago I discovered the EA and after telling me she wanted a second chance, she loved me, etc I gave her a chance.
Throught these past 3 years there were moments I questioned certain incidents but she said i was mistaken and also that that part of her life was a messed up period and she moved on. She even went on to say the OM never contacted her again etc when the subject came up.
A few months ago I discovered by chance she was sending likes to some photos in his instagram account during these past 3 years and vice versa with the occasional text. Not all of the photos but each year at least 3-4 photos which obviously means there was continuous contact. The only non negotiable condition.
Her excuse was that he had an accident and ended up in coma. The story was true but even after coming out of it they still mantained contact via instagram at least.
After calling her out she now says what can she do to make it right, it was a dark moment she fell into and during the summer she began to realize she loved me and wants us to be a family and even move away to another city ot country.
I am planning on moving out for a while until I get my head into shape. DBing worked for me and I have approached this in a totally different frame of mind than expectd.
How do you react to this. How do trust them again? Can you trust them? How do you make sure you are not fooled again without being over controlling? What signs did I miss? IF I gave her a second chance what do I control as she no longer kept her phone with her all the time and the evidence shows these things are not tied to texting. Every 2nd chance they get, are these not ctrl-alt-sup and reset to try another way of maintaining contact without being caught?
I worked on myself, did become a better person and father and partner.
TBH I feel like walking out and all I can say is that IHS does in effect NOT work and that working on piecing is harder than anyone gives it credit for but firstly make sure both are piecing.
