Getting Mixed Signals - New Thread

[Living]

glad to see you back. It is OK to take breaks from here. Just know that we do get concerned and worry for people that just disappear without letting us know.

I feel like I’m torn. I’m torn between trying to remain true to my vows and stand for my marriage. I try to think maybe this is the worse in for better or for worse. Maybe we can survive this. I’m torn between wanting to be patient and hopeful.

The other side of me wants to say forget this mess. This is not what I wanted for my marriage. Part of me wants to walk away. We are living like roommates and I’m better than this. However something is holding me back and it pisses me off. Like why can’t I just walk away from this fool? Why am I allowing myself to live in limbo and wait on him to wake the heck up?

This process is definitely the WORSE in your vows. Only you can hold up your side of the vows. It is also the time for you to clarify what you want in a marriage.

Somewhere in the future, hopefully you can be direct with H. Right now based on what you have told us, I believe the indirect behavior is your bes option. But no one knows. At some point, "This is not working for me" speech might need to be made to H.


Only you can figure this out. I believe knowledge is power. Now is a time for you to get more knowledge. Find your happy without him.

Thank you Ready2Change. I think indirect behavior is best for now. I’m not sure how long that will last but for now I do feel that’s best. I am committed to holding up my side of the vows up until divorce papers are signed, if it comes to that. I refuse to cheat or break my vows in anyway. If I has to walk away from this marriage I want to do so with dignity. I want to do so knowing I did all that I could to remain true to my vows. I want to walk away and be able to hold my head high.

To be perfectly honest with you when it comes to myself, I’m not unhappy. Sure there are things I recognized I needed to work on, but I started working on myself at the end of 2017. The only thing that makes me sad is the state of my marriage. Other than that, I’m not unhappy. That said, I’ve still got work to do. I’ve got plenty of things to keep me busy. But when I get a moment to be still, that’s when it hits me. However, I know what you mean when you say “find happy without him”.

This year is going to be the year that decides if we will remain married or not. I WILL NOT go into 2020 living with my husband like a roommate. So I guess he has less than 12 months to get it together. The ball is in his court. In the meantime I’m going to continue to take care of myself and our son. I’m going to work hard and make as much money as I possibly can. I’m going to continue with GAL, I’m going to get my spiritual and financial houses in order. The other day I finally truly prayed for my marriage. I asked God to take over and to help me to let go and trust his will. I asked God to help my husband to find his way back to me. We will see what happens. I’ve prayed about it and God’s will, wlll be done. I’m going to start going back to church because I also think that will help me.