As AnotherStander said at the end of the last thread "I think it's probably upsetting you because you were still clinging to the notion that maybe somewhere down deep she still loves you and wants to be with you and that this is all just a bad dream that'll wash away with the morning light." Yes, this is true even now at this moment. A little piece of me hopes it's all a bad dream. It not my personality type to let go or give up, I see it as failure and quitting. W would sometimes say to me you always get what you want. I would say yes because I stand up and fight for what I want, I put in the backbreaking work to get what I want, nothing I want in life was ever handed to me. Unfortunately, this may be one of the few exceptions I will experience I won't get what I want and hard work won't make a difference. It does feel like utter failure. However, I did win the lottery 3 times over with the kids I have. Sometimes I wish there could have been a 4th, but then in all likelihood I wouldn't be here and I would probably be a widower instead. Weird thought.
AS if I had to guess I would say I am rolling into stage 5.
Again,
She probably just is pushing to get me to sign asap so she can move on in her affair without feeling guilty. Like you said there is still a chain attached to my side of the fence. When I dropped the kids off yesterday at her house S3 was upset and didn't want me to leave. He told W, I don't like you mommy go away. W said he does that all the time. I said oh really, this is the first time I am seeing it. S3 was clinging to me like glue so she said I could stay and hold S3 on the bench till he was ready for me to go (I am not sitting on OM furniture). I held S3 then W pushed me about signing again. I said I wasn't taking the kids to the L office. She made up some fantasy where she thought I told her my parents were going to watch the kids so I would have it signed by now. I told her no as I told you before it will be signed early next week after I drop the kids off at school. This pissed her off so she kindly kicked me out off the house before S3 was ready. I put up no fight stayed cordial and left. No rollercoaster ride on that one, just annoyed with her.
Last edited by Twofeet; 01/05/1906:36 PM.
H(37) W(35) D8, D5, S3 T20, M13 BD 8/31/18 EA Discovered 9/13/18 Mediation 10/3/18 W files for D 10/12/18 W moves out 11/10/18 EA confirmed 12/25/18 D Final 1/10/19
