A familiar story with questions EIGHT

[RR17]

So D19 goes back to school Sunday. I love seeing her, I'm glad to see her return. I'm also ready for high school to start up again and D16 can return to her regular schedule. W is still on the mend from her cold or Flu.

I will start back up with the touch charges. Unless something changes I plan to wait for the right time and in an as none threatening way as possible, I will tell her that I don't intend to stay in a sexless marriage forever.
I don't want it to be a threatening ultimatum, but I will give it until the end of the year. I'm not sure if I will offer this deadline up without her asking. Then I will STFU. I will listen and validate.

Things are much better but this is no "new normal" that I want to be a part of indefinitely. It's not all about the sex, it's about taking charge and putting a foot down too. I have demonstrated a lot of change over an extended time. I know she sees it.
I do resent these little tactics thought to control me, like her nasty note and withholding sex. I don't need controlling. Regardless of what she decides, she will have to learn to communicate like an adult.

One dynamic that I have really begun to notice, is that both my MIL and SIL wear the pants in their respective relationships. Their Hs wait for instructions. Seek approval. Whatever works for them.

My W has always said and demonstrated that she appreciates an alpha. With me, she got an alpha that is a good cook knows how to sow and couldn't care less about football. Over the last few years, she has become more independent and I have embraced and encouraged it. But I'm not a beta. I have acted like one especially upon BD, but I really realized this once I got my mojo back. This is my unapologetic natural state. I will not be tippy-toeing around this W or any other's optimal time to confront. I won't be manipulated by some "stink eye" or attitude. Guys, this kind of manipulation is Relationship Abuse. My W wouldn't want it. She is allowed to get angry. My response and lack of emotional reaction is just what I think needs to happen more often.

Wish me luck. I am in no hurry but I plan is to do this by months end.