So Im back on a high this morning, which is great. It is comforting to know, that whenever I experience these lows, I know that they are only temporary (feelings and thoughts are fleeting, decisions on the other hands are the tools for not letting them decide what course we stay on).
I had fun with the kids yesterday, albeit it took a lot of mental energy reserves, because I was down. WW haven't checked in with her kids since thursday, but I am keeping them busy. She apparently told D4 that she would be gone 3 days because she was going grocery shopping for her birthday (what the actual......) Well its her conscience that has to deal with it, so whatever.
This morning we woke up, had a good breakfast, cleaned the house, and I packed my bags while the kids watched a little TV. I feel divided. On one hand I feel relived, that I get to just leave the house and be me, time to heal, time away from what I no longer have, but until now has been within reach whenever we have been home together. (Anyone just starting out, I tell you from my experience - IHS takes a powerful mind, and it is definitely not for most - so if you can, get out. Getting out does not mean letting go or stop fighting. I do believe I haven't let go completely, but I think I am fighting from a stronger position by letting myself detach from not being with her all the time, from not being needy and pursuing by the mere fact that I am always present. I also realize that I can distance myself and REALLY feel inside, wether I want to move on or if I am able to forgive in time. This is not a call I can make while doing IHS).
So in 1 hour WW gets home from OM, and she gets the kids. I will kiss them and take off. (they are acting up a bit today so I actually don't mind - im sure I will later today when I miss them).
Plan for the week:
Saturday - present day: IHS ends and I move back to my parents place (not ideal but its the best I can do).
Sunday - Round of golf with my old man and catching up on work I have let slide because of all of this.
Monday - Work, after work I will head to the gym, then catch a movie and go back to my parents place.
Tuesday - Work, after work I will drive home and take my kids to gymnastics, eat with them and tug them in, then head to parents place.
Wednesday - Work, after work I will head to gym, then have a coffee date with a old friend and head to my parents.
Thursday - Work, after work I will head home eat with my kids, play with them and tug them in. Then I will head to a neighbors house for the evening. After that I will sleep at home because D4 has birthday friday and I want to be there for her when she wakes up in the morning.
Friday, Birthday party for kindergarten and in the afternoon she has invited her best friend and we will celebrate her. I get the kids friday, and I reckon WW will leave when D4 is tugged in.
Anything I need to be aware of / pay attention to ?
BD: Wife says "its over" 11th august 2018. EA: June 2018 PA: August 2018 - ongoing Status: Taking turns 7 days a week to be in the house w. kids WW: no regrets, seems happy with leaving.
