Right, well that's what they do is throw crumbs out there to get your hopes up. Now and then you'll even see your old W shining through and you'll think "she really is still in there somewhere!" Those are the times when it is very tempting to temp check but when you do you just get the BD talk all over again. She's dead-set on her course even though you may see hints now and then that she isn't.
That’s the thing.....within the last week or two I’ve seen glimpses of the W that I married / fell in love with. And it’s the stuff that makes me think she’s still in there somewhere.
But no way in h*** have I temp-checked—I’m trying to stay the course with DBing as best as I can, just giving her the space as best as I can. SHE’S THE ONE who is initiating tonight’s convo—she’s temp-checking for some reason. Who knows why, though.
Originally Posted by AnotherStander
Part of the WAS fantasy is that the kids will be unaffected, or may even emerge BETTER OFF than before. So yeah they will say stuff like that as if you are still one big happy family. Of course that's not the case at all, but you can't communicate that to her right now.
If the talk happens just remember she will probably speak in absolutes. I was never happy, it was never meant to be, this is the best for everyone, it would never work, etc. etc. That's what they do. When you hear it just think in your head "script" because that's what it is.
It’s astonishing how on-script most of these sitchs are—almost like it’s a disease with a trackable progression.
W said this at the dinner table last night when we were all there. I’ve said nothing to her about any of this—I also believe that if she wants S / D, it will really F things up, even though I know her parents D’ed when she was about OS’ age. I mean, look how fine she turned out—of course, they’ll be okay, too [/sarcasm].
What I’m fairly certain of is that this talk will happen—the content and outcome? No freaking clue. I know that is she does decide to BD, inside I’ll thank her for the chance to find someone else with whom I can build something amazing with, in time.
