Finding the Balance then Tipping the Scale (TWO)

[Adam04]

Another weekend coming and I feel ill prepared. Spoke to a couple lawyers who want to charge a couple hundred on the initial consult. None on weekends, and one attorney who can is on the other side of town. I read something about asking the attorney if they ever worked in the court or knows the judge along with other questions to feel out how experienced they are... which led me to thinking that I don't even know what court would handle that so asking you for your help here. Is there a way to know that info ahead of time in a big city with possibility of moving to outskirts of town, and could that change which court is used?

Hurt my foot somehow so took a few days off from working out, went home early and watched bird box. One thing I did notice since W has been home with kids is that when I watched the movie, she decided to watch it too. It felt like she could have been texting OM. I got home early, so she texted , then stopped texting. Just felt like it could ha e been to OM to let him know I was home early. I know I still struggle with this and wanting to shake the crap out of her to wake up, but I know I can't. This is a 180 for me. I truly feel that if I intervene with her process it will only complicate matters more. As for boundaries on that, I didn't tell her anything about the text and was even questioning my own insecurities. She has been texting her family because she was telling the kids about plans for today with their aunts.. I thought about leaving the living room but she left to bathe the little one.

I am still looking to move out to be on my own. Some days I know I am going thru the motions with my feelings of missing our family and then hating her. Then I go on with the day indifferent.

On that note, work has gotten better this week. I am allowing myself time. I try to think about how I am reacting based on my emotions, trying to balance my emotions with the intellect. So with work, I know I have to let thoughts of her go, and it's happened for numerous days now. I wished it was easier to detach though.