Truth is, she isn't just in a fog. An A is never right. I am not excusing her A at all. It very well could have been a very unhappy relationship for her. And you very well could have "blown it" by not hearing her. Those actions should have been regretted, but to wallow in it, won't accomplish anything. Seeing how you were and why you were the way you were and making the strides to fix it is all you can do.
But I quoted what you said, because you are still blaming her!
When a woman feels awfully unheard or disregarded (or even a man, I am sure) it takes a of strength to ask for something and say how they feel. That first time coming to you probably was REALLY difficult for her. To do it again seemed impossible.
I am not saying this is you, but I lived with an H who never heard me, disregarded everything I said and every feeling I ever had, and sometimes called them stupid. So to even ask my exH for an ounce of something took all my courage and willpower. And I never ever would dream about trying again when I got turned down or insulted.
These are lessons to learn from and not something to wallow in. You'll only benefit in the long run.
