two steps forward, three steps back (burned)

[burned]

For real? You are blaming her for not asking you again after you turned her down. She asked you in the first place because she felt you needed it. You decided that you did not, then she respected your answer and she is the one at fault for this interaction?

Look at this real close, burned.

I am, and it's hard. It's a major regret. I recall the incident very clearly. I said, "No, that's only for people who are about to get divorced."

I had no idea how serious she was. The way she asked, it was "Do you think we should do MC?" She never sat me down and said, "I am unhappy in this M and I think if we don't do MC I won't be able to go on." So I misread it, very very badly. I'm ashamed of it. It's yet another of the things she had been telling me and telling me and I hadn't been hearing it. It's easy for me to blame her for not having been assertive enough or clear enough or direct enough, but it's on ME that I didn't care enough or pay enough attention to really sense her intentions.

After BD I told her I regretted that and I told her I wish I had done it. Too late.

But do you see why I wallow in regret? The more I think about things, the more I realize that I really blew it. And why I'm resistant to the idea that she is just in a "fog" and might change her mind. The way I see it, it was a very unhappy relationship for her. I don't really blame her for wanting out, when I really look at it.