Thanks Grace....good insight. I'm waiting to hear back from the counselor to set up the first appt. I hope it helps me understand what I truly want.
As I laid awake in bed last night I kept thinking "what am i doing"? I've noticed myself simply not liking my W these days. Even when she says nice things and shows (fake) remorse I just don't have positive thoughts about her. I don't believe a single word she says. What is it about us on this forum that allows the WS time/space/patience? Are we just weak? Why do we allow them anything after they have committed the ultimate slap in the face to us? I'm so sick and tired of the constant thoughts, drama, and wondering "what's next".
If DB'ing truly works...then wouldn't the ultimate DB to say "I'm done. I wish you well in life/relationships as you have chosen. But I'm moving on and loving myself and finding someone who would never disrespect the person they (??) love the most." Prior to meeting my now W...I had a year of being completely single....and ya know what? It as one of the best years of my adult life. GAL and working on myself would be so much easier if it was just me. I'm not scared of divorce, I'm not scared of being alone. Short term pain, long term gain!
That being said, I love her. I truly thought we met for the right reasons and that she was the one. But she is no longer the woman I married, in so many ways. She is NOT someone I would be drawn to in her current place. So why do we try to save something they didn't think enough of not to cheat/lie/disrespect and F up!
