A familiar story with questions EIGHT

[RR17]

Okay, well W has been sick for the last week. Not sure if it was what I had because she had a fever and I never did. D19 is still back from college and life has been being put back together from the holidays.

At the onset of her illness W had an angry outburst of sorts.

I in an effort to clean up some finances took the initiative to pay some bills. Mostly my bills some that serve the whole clan. I had just gotten a nice check and I also want to keep my stuff in good shape especially in the event that I may become suddenly single.
W realizes this and because she usually pays most bills decides while I'm out, to write a nasty note along with a budget for next month with alications and place it on my bed in the MBR.
Once discovering, this really pissed me off because I don't need to be told where I can spend money and I don't appreciate this immature form of communication. I think she may have seen 5K missing and instead of inquiring, just jumped to conclusions. I didn't deserve it. I confronted her and handed her back her little budget. It got a little heated but not too bad. Remember she was feverous and bedridden. For the next few days, I checked in occasional and asked if W needed anything. It was difficult to tell if the looks were just nasty because of harboring anger or due to the illness but I didn't really care. There was no shame in my game and I extended the same compassion that she extended to me when I was sick. Ultimately achieving what I had hoped to achieve by confronting her about a sexless marriage. I stuck my foot down. Didn't respond to her trying to control me with nasty attitude and looks. I was differentiated.

Devine Intervention? Perhaps. Actually, I believe it is all divine intervention. Either way, this turn of events has given cause to pause and consider my next action. As of now, I am still leaning toward confronting W about not wanting to stay in a sexless marriage. During our above-mentioned argument, W said, "I need..." at which I responded, "What about my needs?". But no details were discussed.

Anyway, I replaced her expensive, hard to find windshield wiper blades and with her recovery, she seems to have cooled her jets. This is the first time in many months that she has expressed anger. I'm sure the sickness didn't help and I am going to reserve judgment due to the illness. I will note that when and if we reach the point, W needs to work on this harboring of anger.

For others here, you may be used to a W that holds a grudge for several days. For the first decade of my MR, I never experienced this. At least not openly. Anyway, it is only recent years and is still unfamiliar. Meaning I never felt "In the dog house". I guess W was processing anger in more covert ways.
So W has left her sickbed and started to join me again for evening TV. Sometimes she comes and sleeps. BTW, I have never known W to be this sick. Whatever bugs are going around have kicked our butts.

So Sandi, not much happening in the Sexless marriage confrontation conversation.

I appreciate all the advice from everyone. I have taken it into consideration and much of it is what I had already been thinking. The time hasn't simply been right and I have been working on stuff outside of the MR. Enjoying time with D's and being my own man. lol