W has a lot of positive qualities and is viewed by most as a great catch (including me at least until a few years ago), beautiful, great shape, successful, social, on and on. She has that nasty streak that really [censored], but that is not 100% of who she is. There are a lot of great qualities in the mix, but when the nasty comes out it is bad.
I am no choir boy and I want to make sure I am not overplaying a victim card here - I have many positive qualities and do believe I am a great catch as well, but I have the capacity to be an ahole depending on the circumstances. If I am challenged, criticized or attacked in a way that I deem confrontational or aggressive, I am going to counter with some level of force, using sarcasm, pointing out the hypocrisy of my attacker, challenging the truth of their position, on and on. I am working on a better way to be in these circumstances. Work in progress.
I have culpability for the demise of the M. To an extent I do have characteristics of the "Shytty Husband" - neglect, indifference, head in the sand, self-absorbed, lack of intimacy, etc. I haven't parsed out how much is just me and how much was a reaction to W's personality issues. Maybe that dissection is for down the road? Regardless of the cause, I want to correct all bad behavior on my part.
