I Was a Jerk (Part 1)

[SteveLW]

Gekko,

Do the reading cadet linked. REad KC's words carefully. Good stuff in there!

180s and GAL is FOR YOU. NOT to try to save your MR. Saving your MR is out of your hands. You could do everything right and your W could still decide to fly the coop. DO NOT FOCUS ON HER. Focus on you, just like KC said. 180s aren't 180s to save your MR, they are 180s to be the best Gekko you can be. 180s are for your next relationship because your current one is OVER. All of the dynamics of your old MR you described should never be allowed into a new MR, whether that is with your W or someone new.

I too already was GAL prior to BD. Doubledown on it. Every minute you are not with your kids, you are BUSY BUSY BUSY. Do not fall into the trap we all do: "I was distant before BD, a 180 would be to be all over her." You can still be present, attentive, kind, engaged, fulfilled, pleased, happy WHEN you interact with her. But your goal should be as little interaction with her as possible.

SO many newbies get this wrong: It is about QUALITY of interaction....not QUANTITY. Do not chase her. She will run. The goal is to be a new man, to be mysterious. To pique her interest. But here is the rub....the minute she detects you are doing all this to manipulate her, it will fail. It will not work. So make sure you are only doing this for you. For your healing.

GAL. 180s. Detach. Become the best Gekko you can be. And let everything else fall into place.