I have been riding the high of the rollercoaster for a while now, as you can probably see from my journaling, and have been content with the idea of being alone with the kids soon. However today is bad. Tonight WW is leaving (see journal from yesterday), and when she returns on saturday, I will be going for the next 7 days. I will though be returning home to see the kids once or twice because they are so small and need my presence more than with 7 days between.
We agreed on not doing IHS anymore, and maybe that is what is putting me on a low, the fact that this is now getting very real. However this is better than me being aware that she is so deep with another man, and that I am disrespecting my self and my possibilities for healing and moving on as long as she so openly thinks it is okay to pursue this endeavor before we are split 100%. Maybe it is indeed okay, and I am just hurt. I don't want to spend energy thinking about it anymore.
I know feelings and thoughts are fleeting, and that I will be alright again soon, but today is hard.
BD: Wife says "its over" 11th august 2018. EA: June 2018 PA: August 2018 - ongoing Status: Taking turns 7 days a week to be in the house w. kids WW: no regrets, seems happy with leaving.
