Milestones of Moving On (?)

[TJT]

Haha! Oh ok! Phew (I guess?) lol

I love your stories. I'm sure they totally weren't funny at the time but I do find them kind of humorous now. Helps me make light of some of my sitch in some small ways.

I don't have an L since we've agreed on everything and have planned to do things "pro se". However I do have a few that I've called on the fly for some basic advice. If there will be a good chunk coming back as a result of the house, I think 50/50 on a joint filing will be best as well. He wont have rights to it in the future but half of what we spent to get into it was his, too. So, I'm good with that.

Yes, I do want to pursue really bad BUT that's one thing I've also been really good about not doing at all costs. Sometimes there are gray areas for me where it's hard to determine if an opportunity to respond nicely would be seen as pursuing or if it would be good for my H to see a positive interaction with me (I read somewhere else on here that you're supposed to treat it like an cordial exchange at a store or something?) Anyway, that's why I ask though, because if something really IS pursuing, I know 100% not to do it, and will not do it.

Part of my second-guessing also has to do with the fact that before H fully moved out, I started getting shorter with him in my texts. He then complained how unpleasant our interactions were (although he could never give me specifics about what would make it less unpleasant, aside from wanting "better communication" - ironic). So I adjusted to try to be more engaging. Then HE started to pull back more, and when I asked him about that he said he was confused why I was texting him more again. (Clearly a dance going on here, and like I said this was way early on in my DBing but probably still at a point where things were too far gone to do anything but LRT).

So, sometimes in my head I can just envision him saying, "Well you never texted me or reached out so I thought you were done with me," and that scares me and makes me want to give reassurances, or not even that but just you know... something that will make me the lighthouse kind of thing. But then I remind myself that if he says that, it's just another excuse because if he really is interested in trying to work things out, he'll reach out and check.