Wow. Today I woke up from a really upsetting dream regarding my XW and I've been feeling doubt about her all day.
XW regressing and cheating again is definitely my deepest fear. I am stuck. I want to trust her with my heart but I can't. Not yet, maybe never. Of course it's early but still.
I almost feel like I detached so much over the last year that I can't regain the emotional ties that are essential to a marriage or LTR.
I may have to put this R on hold.
You go at your own pace, Joe. YOU have the power. And you will ultimately decide whether or not you want to give this woman another chance. Your WW has inflicted so much damage and pain to you. Of course going back to the person who has caused this pain is a huge risk. HUGE! You have a lot of PTSD from this ordeal. And of course you are going to be cautious and have doubts.
My piecing advice may not jibe with the advice with the folks who successfully, so I would advise you lean on them more for guidelines on what to do.
That being said, you will need to eventually open up bit by bit to her and re-establish the trust essential for a relationship. Maybe seek the services of a family counselor to help. Maybe post here about what you are thinking of doing/saying and get an objective viewpoint of your current situation and have the knowledge and tools needed to make a smart LOGICAL decision.
There are a lot of folks here who are rooting for you, Joe. Me included. Inspire us. Give us hope. The hope to move forward and live our best life with whomever they may be.
