Dealing with a WW and trying to save myself pt. 4

[SoTorn]

Many people here advocate staying in the MH and taking over the MBR. Even my L told me to stay in the MH. I agree in some circumstances. I did the best I could until it was clear that it was dangerous. I owned the MBR, but in the end I could not maintain my sanity or my safety.

IHS is a potentially high risk situation with a wayward. They can be volatile and can do literally anything to get their way.

I did not know it at the time, but XW's OM actually told her to bruise herself, call the cops, and have me arrested for domestic abuse. She refused to bruise herself and report a false assault, but did call the cops. The officers that showed up believed me more than her because she was obviously off her rocker.

After that I secretly packed up all of my stuff and my son's stuff and went to a friend's house. Everyone's sitch is different, though. I hope nobody else here has to go through a similar ordeal.

Once I was out of the MH my DB went to the next level. Everything was easier without her around me. My NC game was amazing. It was much more peaceful. I was able to detach.

Leaving was the right decision for me in my sitch. That doesn't mean it's right for other people, though.

This is why I record every interaction and have cameras set up. She knows the cameras are set up. Honestly IHS is very hard. WE keeps lying. Keeps pretending shes only seeing friends and traveling for work. I know shes getting her ti e with OM in. It seems hopeless to me at this point and IHS is wearing on my sanity badly.

Joe, did you file for D or her? Did she go full tilt girls gone wild when you moved out? IHS makes it very easy to backslide. I dont think my conversation with her was pursuit, but it sure pissed her off that I said I wasnt her friend and that I'm not just going to help her constantly unless she asked nicely.

I was reading Squiggys stitch and he kept applying the five love languages to his stitch. Why would someone apply the love language when the WW is actively in an A? I am still struggling with this detach with love thing. Should I approach it like Squiggy and be available to her to help? I feel that would destroy me emotionally because she would just be taking advantage of me. I am cordial and I am upbeat and happy when around her, but I just leave her alone. I dont ignore her completely. But I dont initiate contact unless necessary.

My WW love language is acts of service. More like acts of slavery lol.

I am truly struggling lately from all of the face to face contact with her. Because of the holidays and the snow I have had more time with her than I wanted. I am going out of town Friday to go visit a friend out of state and will probably visit some family as well.

Do I need to tell WW that I am going out of town?

This situation is nuts. My WW makes great money, we have had ups and downs but we always got along, had a great sex life. She doesnt need me to survive. She literally doesnt. But she wont file for D or leave. That's just nuts to me. Every day that goes by I think "do I even want her back after what she did?" I mean do I? What am I putting myself through?

My kids will hurt and them living at two houses would suck, but I would be able to truly just enjoy myself as a single man. I am stable financially. I am good looking. I already have women asking me out and wanting to date me.

What am I afraid of?