[BrightFuture]

Hello, my fellow DBers! Not sure if I can call myself that anymore, LOL. Happy New Year to everyone who still remembers me and to all new folks who joined the MLC forum since last year. It’s been almost a year since I posted. I’ve been reading the updates regularly thought. And there are so many new posters in MLC forum. I’m sorry you are here. But… you are in the right place. There is so much wisdom and great advice you can get here. Thanks to all of the “old” timers, moderators and people who read and comment on the posts. I want to say a special thank you to you, job! You’ve been a source of an invaluable wisdom, advice and support here. You helped me a lot during my journey and I will always remember that.

It’s been 6 ½ years post DB. And I can say I’ve been doing great! I have a great family and friends. I distanced myself from the friends who kept asking why I was not moving on with my life, meaning why I was not pursuing an official D, etc. In my opinion, I’ve been moving in my life quite nicely.

I went on 3-week vacation to Europe with my two single ladies. I was great! I had no sadness or regrets that H was not there. I actually liked it and enjoyed the whole trip. My travel companions (who are now my GFs) were great! No drama and very easy going. We are planning another trip for this year.

Yes... H is still in my life somewhat and popping up here and there… But, it doesn’t change what I do with my life. H and I are still not officially D’d… We still maintain a joint business, a few joint accounts. Including credit cards, an auto insurance, etc. I gave H an option to opt out of an auto in insurance one more time… My home insurance was not renewed this year, due to the high fire hazard in my area. So, I had to look for another option, which would include changing a car insurance to get a multi-policy discount. So… to make a long story short, H choose to stay with whatever auto insurance I chosen and not getting his own, LOL.

There were a few times when I interacted with H at the vacation home place. I just can’t remember all the details, as I’m not keeping track of these anymore. H has a rough start of the year, when he had to work during the winter in a cold state. But, he seemed to find another good source of work recently, working in the southern state and actually making some decent money. He seems more confident and more like his old self. He is very much up to date on the joint company business and keeping all the records strait! It looks like he is still wants to maintain a status quo though, even giving me the passwords and answer questions to some of the join accounts logins, that could be easily claimed as his own, LOL. I’m just curios how long it will continue …

He still allows me to stay in our joint condo at the vacation home (which he claims as his home…), and seems to enjoy the fact that I stay there, LOL. I stayed there a couple of times over the summer. I treat it as a rental for me though.

Almost every time when we were in the same company (at our mutual friend’s house), I’ve heard H talking to other people who don’t really know him or me about some events in the past, and almost every time these events involved me and he mentioned me in the stories and even asked me a couple of times to confirm the details. I find it interesting.

I was at the vacation home place before and during the Christmas. It was the first time I was able to spend more than a week at that place! A combination of time off, the holidays and working remotely, which my job allows me to do! So, I saw H three times. One time he came to my condo to exchange the company file. I can tell he was comfortable doing this… We chatted some… Then we both were at our mutual friend’s house, before Christmas and for the Christmas dinner. Again, H seemed comfortable to be in the same company with me, I think he feels I would never put him in a bad spot, LOL. I treat him as a distant friend, or acquaintance.

And then unimaginable, hahaha! He came to my family’s New Year’s party. That’s right! Well, there was a kind of an excuse this year. He and his brother (my BIL) go to Holiday Bowl every year, and this year it was on the 31st. My BIL has been attending all my family events for a few years, and he wanted to be at the NY’s party as well. So, they came after the game. All I can say, it went well. All my family were happy to see H. I think he looked a bit sad (well, there was a lot of alcohol involved, so he might had been just tired), but I can tell he was happy to be there. He was talking mostly to my sister and her H, I was on the other side of the table. So, I’m sure I will hear some details later, LOL.

It is getting to be a long post now. I will continue in the next one. I’ve observed some things lately.