DJ is right. The only thing that compared to the loss I felt during my D was when my grandfather died. We were really close. Your marriage is dead. The H you loved disappeared into thin air and got replaced by an alien. This crap is hard and it is not fun.
But it is not the end of your world.
Read the poem The Guest House by Rumi. Another member here (I think Surfer) recommended it on my thread. It helped me tremendously when I felt the waves of emotions crashing into me over and over again.
Save yourself. Nobody is coming! BD:11/2017 Filed:12/2017 Final: 2/2018