Not english at all or at least not english enough to be familiar with Far from the Maddening Crowd.
I take your Nat King Cole / Thomas Hardy and raise you Socates "Know thyself"
Paco - I have no doubt you have an active and productive life. That is not the mirror I am talking about. I have an active and productive life but looking in that mirror still hurt like hell because it forced me to see my flaws and account for my actions.
Here goes ... and apologise for hijacking
I think our perspectives are always going to be informed by our experiences. Mine (confusing, frustrating and hellish as it has been) has made me a stronger person for having been forced to know myself. My H sprouted all sorts of accusations at me, cherry picking every bad thing that had happened in our marriage, or turning the good things into negatives. He saw our life together through a lens of utter resentment and raged at me about everything and anything. I tried to counter by cherry picking the good things or raging right back at him. Once he had moved out and I had the space to think, I started to look at myself. Beneath his resentment there were grains of truth. Whenever I am hurting, I become emotionally detached, closed off and use my intelligence and success as a means to "put him in his place". I did all this instead of simply saying "you have hurt me". I stopped appreciating when he did nice things for me because I thought he took me for granted and wanted to hurt him. I isolated myself and focused solely on my career and my children. I indirectly made him feel small because I made more money than he did so he made me feel small by criticising me. I did not show I loved him enough. That mirror can be an ugly thing. But I did it. And in doing so, I began to understand him and then I began to forgive him. He has acted like a [censored] but I could be a [censored].
Kiro - I agree a loving companion is a worthwhile thing. I just do not think, Jerry Maguire be [censored], that another person can complete us. If you are not complete, then you will be incomplete with our without a loving companion.
