FS, no apologies needed; not harsh at all (he said as he pulled the knife from his heart).
Just to assure you, I do have an active, productive life, which I choose not to speak about on this forum.
But I tend to side with Kiro and Nat King Cole:
"The greatest thing you'll ever learn, is just to love and be loved in return."
Since you sound veddy, veddy British in your posts, FS, I will point to Gabriel Oak, from Hardy's "Far from the Madding Crowd," as one of my favorite English literary characters. In his example, I see a man who could be independently, stoically complete unto himself, while also unapologetically and unconditionally committed to the woman he loved. If my posts focus on the latter attributes, rather than the former, perhaps it is because of the nature of this forum.
