I’ve been feeling stronger each day and now have accepted that my M is over. I don’t feel that cloud of depression over me and finally feel excited about the future and my goals this year.
I was remembering something last night (New Years eve). Last New Years we were apart (we were relocating to a different state and I went first), I remember that she said that this was the last New Years that we’d be apart and that 2018 would be a great year for us etc. Now this year not even a merry Christmas or happy new year from her. I don’t feel sad though, and I’m thankful for that.
I was thinking about her text the other night (in my post above) and I wonder if ever she misses me. I would like to save my marriage but at this point I don’t know what else I can do. I work with my brother in law (W’s sister’s husband) and yesterday he told me that W is depressed, sad looking, and extremely thin. He said that he can see it in her eyes. I just said “I’m sorry to hear that, I hope she feels better”. I never talk about W or anything with him but sometimes he mentions these things to me and I just validate.
If she really wants a D and to be done with me and have me out of her life completely (even though I already am, just need the D to confirm it), then why is she so sad? Isn’t this what she wants?? And to refer to her text the other night (post above) why does she say that “if that’s what I want”, when she is the one that wants this? I just don’t know if there’s something else I should be doing or just keep NC and hoping one day she reaches out? Thank you all!
