Dealing with a WW and trying to save myself pt. 4

[SoTorn]

So I'm reading a good book "unf**k yourself" I had just finished the part about "expect nothing accept everything" which states that if you have expectations and focus on the expectations and they aren't met, you will get angry and that's a waste of energy.

My WW was upstairs putting the Christmas tree away. WW has always been the type to expect people to read her mind when she wants something done.

WW boxed the tree up and carried it down the stairs. Shes making all sorts of grunting sounds like if the box weighs a million pounds. It doesnt, shes more than capable of moving a fake tree in a box.

When she gets to the bottom she says "really nice teaching your son to not lift a finger to help, I dont see any change"

I used to always ask if she needed help with things, made myself available and most of the time she would say no. I am not a mind reader and will never be.

Tonight I cooked dinner. I usually dont cook. I set it up so I'm cooking all week because I have no clue if WW will be going out of town or not. I guess that's sort of a 180, but it's for good reason.

Anyway, I just responded saying "I'm sorry that you feel upset". WW just cannot get the idea that if you want help, you ask nicely. WW wants me to just jump and help her right after she gets back from a trip with OM.

I'm sorry but I'm not going to help her with a menial task like I used to when I was her H. If she would have asked nicely, yes I would have helped, but I am no mind reader.

So back to the book, my WW had set herself with the expectation that since she was doing something that I should automatically offer help. When i didnt offer help she got upset that her expectations were not met. So she got angry for setting an expectation when she could have just asked for help.

Am I wrong not to be asking WW if she needs help constantly? That is what I used to do because I was pursuing her trying to make her happy by offering help with everything.