New thread- Newcomer pre-bomb drop

[Bern19]

Well, it’s NYE. Haven’t spoken with wife about anything relationship based since the discovery of her still sneaking around to see the OM. She went to our scheduled MC session by herself and didn’t bring it up afterwards. Early on, I felt like she was waiting for me to bring it up. Now I get the feeling she likes that I appeared to have “dropped it” and am moving on. We have friends coming tonight to celebrate the New Year, but I’ll be honest, I’m not looking forward to it. She gets to play the everything is great with us game and I just want to scream. I know that I’m supposed to be working on detachment but it’s hard when your stuck putting on a show for your kids’ sake. Now that the holidays are over, I need to make a change. I don’t want to leave my home, nor do I want to split up my kids. But can I spend the rest of my life in a loveless, sexless marriage to someone that is all but guaranteed to hurt me again?