We don't fail, we gain experience and apply it in the future. Don't be so hard on yourself. This is a crazy period in your life and sometimes we lose control because we are so passionate about what's happening.
IMO, you said a lot, but your W can start to see some strength coming from you. Keep reading, keep posting.
Onward and Forward
M:37 W:37 T:11 M:10 S17, S13, S10, S4 BD:06/28/17 OM confirmed 07/20/17 Recon the M 10/29/17 Working hard:2gether
Onward and forward
This process is not a sprint it's a marathon! Patience, Patience, Patience.