When the holidays are done and the divorce is final you have to make it crystal clear to your W that unless it involves the kids to please not contact you. If she asks why, just tell her that you need to heal and move on with your life. Also, make it clear one time that you have no desire to be friends with her.
Then you must stick to your boundaries. If she asks how you are, she gets no response. If she asks how to hook up the internet, she gets no response.
Down the road when/if you no longer are interested in recon you can entertain establishing a friendship with her.
