Start with the Master bedroom right away. She slept elsewhere last night. Make it permanent until the affair stops. How about "Under the current circumstances, I will not be sharing the martial bed with you right now."
I am not saying validating her in certain circumstances isn't good right now. I am just saying to be careful over doing it and validating her affair.
I am concerned that by the time you get strong enough, too much damage will have been done and it will be too late.
If you have time read Hurt123's thread and see what happens when affairs are open and tolerated.
