DNJ explained what I was attempting to get across to you. Thanks DNJ for stepping in and explaining a bit better for Gerda.
It is one thing to stand up for yourself, but when you are attempting to get something from the MLCer, you have to think outside the box. They are emotionally driven and when we attempt to get something from them, well, they behave badly, i.e., like a spoiled brat on the playground who doesn't want to share. No matter what you say, they will only hear what they want to hear and that is you wanting to take something from them.
You've tried to reason w/an emotionally irrational man. You can't win the battle this way. The best way to try to get what you want is to ask and keep the request simple. No explanations and expectations...,just ask. We learn that asking and allowing them to form their response w/o expectations works better. Now, he may say he has to think about it and that's okay because he's the one that will make the decision. If he says no, then have a Plan B in place and go from there.
As for the bullying, they all do this and it's a scare tactic to get us to back off. It's not something that I would even discuss with a lawyer because all you would be doing is adding up billable hours over something that may not be necessary.
What is the old saying? Ask and you shall receive? Try what DNJ and I have suggested...asking w/no expectations and see what happens next time. He just might be more flexible w/you when it comes to what you want.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
