Whirlwind of Hurt 6

[Twofeet]

Again,

Unless I slip up out of old habits I do not answer any of my W phone calls and I only return phone calls if she leaves a voicemail or text message requesting a callback. This boundary has prevented a lot of phone calls where she calls and blows up. The couple of times when I did slip up and answer immediately she called to flip out on me, to which I have mentioned these infrequent incidents in previous posts. I also rarely immediately respond to any of her texts unless its important and it usually isn't. Phone calls and texts both have a cooling off period so I can stay off the rollercoaster. My IC says I need to think of her as someone who is mentally and emotionally a teenager. She definitely has had lapse where I wonder if she can mentally function. She couldn't even do basic math and tried to pay me almost double what she owed me.

I do not ask her what she is doing or how she has been, and I never volunteer anything other than a I am doing fine thank you. If we have a face to face handoff or a child centered activity (bday, Christmas, etc.) she will feed me little incites of her life. I just smile and remain cordial, I listen, and I don't linger or inquire on anything. One handoff earlier this month she asked me if I wanted to stay and eat. That felt like a big temp check and I had plans. It just seems like recently most of the texts and calls are initiated by her. In fact she just reached out to me tonight via text to see if I want to continue to share the accounts of Netflix and Hulu. I will probably do this and split costs, but it's late so I will sit on it and respond tomorrow.

I feel like she knows the children are my weak spot and I think she has been softly trying to exploit that. Such as when she wanted the childplan pulled from the mediated decree (she wants to coparent without boundaries), her feigned interest in the kids therapy. Even threatening to stop paying her portion of the kids private school despite her making more money than me, and a Christian education always being a high priority for her in the past. I just don't get the motivation or the why's behind some of her actions with the kids.

I have mentioned it before, I am really coming to terms with the concept of the saying it's a marathon not a sprint. Problem is I am training for the marathon while running it and it sure can be exhausting at times. Detachment will help with that marathon, but man this whole thing has been one tough pill to swallow. A bit intimidating.