Brave Little Gerda, So Chilled She Could Not Speak

[Gerda]

Job, I know you must be concerned if you are weighing in this much. And I consider myself a veteran round these parts, so I am confused by my confusion about your response.

I feel like all I have done for the last five years is pull further and further back and completely rely on myself and ask him for nothing. I literally do everything on my own and do not rely on him at all or even tell him anything about what I do for work or anything. I totally lead my own life and keep our ship afloat alone and pay for absolutely everything for the house and kids on my own, run our rental business alone, have all my other jobs, doing my court case alone for the biz we had that I tried to sell, etc.

But then the D got filed, and I felt like you were all encouraging me to stand up for myself and not let him take everything from me and the kids.

So this week when the car issue came up, I started out by ignoring it and trying to figure out another way to go on a trip. But then I remembered what you all have been advising, and I realized I should not be paying for a car I can't use, nor pay for a car for him to use. He wants a D, he wants to divide everything, so it's silly for me to stick my head in the sand and pretend that it's not happening.

So I think I am really confused by your response.

Do you just mean that until there is an actual D, I just have to accept that I won't get use of the car when he prevents it?

Do you mean that I should keep paying the insurance and repairs on the car?

I would like to be clearer on this not because of the car per se, but because it's the first timeI actually participated in a discussion of a division of something that is both of ours and you told me I did it all wrong when I thought I was doing my own 180 and standing up for myself for once!