What an awesome post Joe. Thank you for that. Interesting... my H had what I call a “six-month MLC” in 2014. He left the home for a month at the end of it and when he returned, he said he was better and in love with me again. I asked him a few times over the next month or two about things that had happened and it was the same story as your XW. He had very little memory of the things he said and did. He said his memories were “fuzzy” and that it didn’t feel like it was him. He also had no explanation or any real reasons for doing what he did. In hindsight, I wish I had insisted on counselling or something but I was just so grateful that he was back that I left him. And a few months later...he was gone again. I realize now that he hadn’t really faced anything or done the work. He just retreated until the feelings weren’t as strong and overwhelming...but they didn’t go away. Fast forward four years and he is convinced they never went away because we stayed married. Again...he made it about me and not about him. But you can’t divorce yourself so I guess your spouse is the next best thing.
