Milestones of Moving On (?)

[TJT]

Thanks everyone. HUGS HUGS HUGS.

Yail, I am definitely about to go take a bath with a stress candle. I did the same last night. And I guess I should spend some time planning my day tomorrow because I really don't have plans. I might call my mom and see if she's available although she's been sick for the past week. The weather is also supposed to be crappy. Anyway, thanks for reinforcing that positive direction.

I have found myself looking forward to summer. I think the sunshine/longer days will be good for me.

My new neighbor has moved in though and that's not helping either. He is overwhelming and it's hard to deal with him without an H of my own to help buffer. He has a bunch of security cameras he just set up and I am all for that (I have some of my own) but a few of his get MY property in the viewfinders... my driveway, fully, and a good chunk of my back side yard and a small bit of my back patio. So now I have more stress trying to plan how to plant trees or get some kind of patio curtains/shades so that I can at least still have some privacy..

I'm just not liking my life right now. No I don't mean it like that (not suicidal or anything) but I just really don't like it. It's not fun, I don't have help for things, I'm lonely, I am financially squeezed because I'm paying for a big house by myself and have no savings left... god forbid an emergency come up.

I literally feel like I just have to live minute by minute to get through it all and even when I GAL it's like I'm anticipating the moment it's going to be over and what my plan will be after that. I still like my alone time and I need that quietness to myself, BUT I am also realizing that it's gotten harder and harder for me to focus when I'm alone. I just end up feeling stuck and can't seem to get anything done.