Dealing with a WW and trying to save myself pt. 4

[SoTorn]

Wow. So you ended up having a WW after all.

What do you think about how my WW also does NC with me? I know shes still in the A. The difference between my NC and WWs is that I am doing it for myself. I keep distance to protect my emotions. I feel that WW just does it to try and be hateful.

My kids all know I have been looking at condos. All of them feel like I should not be the one who moves, but they know WW is stubborn and wont leave.

I took S11 with me to look at condos. He really liked the ones I found. D16 also likes them as she looked online and at some pictures i sent her.

I have a friend who lives in the same condos so if he refers me i get like half off first mo tha rent.

Update on my plan.

Before I move out I will accomplish three things.

Get a custody agreement in place, even if D has not been filed.
Pay my CC off
Sell my car and get something cheaper

I dont want to sell my car and honestly I dont really have to. But it's a huge expense that I just dont need right now. I am a car guy, which WW hates.

My WW literally cannot be supportive of any hobby if the hobby costs $$$. I mean like I could do oragami and Wzw would say it's a waste of money.

Now that I have been focusing on myself and can see MR fro. A different perspective, I cannot remember a single time WW was supportive of any extracurricular activity that I wanted to do.

WW literally thinks that me having a hobby is a waste of money. According to her I shouldn't ever want nice things. I should never want a fast car. I shouldn't want any new hunting gear because it's just me boozing my ego. Me dressing sharp is just me being vain.

I have noticed that my WW has taken the worst parts of her parents and made those her driving force.

WW is extremely judgemental and critical of anything I do. My car, my clothes, my hobbies etc. WW feels she is elite and above me because she has her masters and a high paying job. I dont have a degree yet. I will be starting school here soon.

Even without a degree I make what my WW did two years ago.

The funny thing is WW complains that I spend too much money on my hobbies when she throws money at house cleaners we dont need, fake nails, fake eyelashes, all sorts of stuff to change how she looks.

I can see now that my WW has never truly been supportive of me. I never had her behind me saying "you can do it ST!" I always hear "you wont do it, you're just like so and so who blah blah blah"

My WW compared me to family members who are lazy, have no job, have filed bankruptcy multiple times, have cheated on their spouses etc.

I have never paid a bill late in my life. I have worked steadily since I was 14. I have always provided my family with a steady income and insurance. I truly understand that even with a few stupid decisions I made in the past that I am a damn good man. I am a great father. I am successful and I dont need to prove it.


I like my hobbies and I will do what I can to keep them up because they make me happy and they dont take anything from my kids or family.

Now that I have been getting attention from different women, I realize that I am one helluva catch. One of the women I have been getting to know as friends told me that I am what every single woman in her 30s is looki g for. She said I am a breath of fresh air because I know what I want, know who I am and I am stable. Another woman told me that she has been looking for a man my age for awhile and that every si gle man she has met my age that is not married is not emotionally mature or financially stable. This woman said that I am so far ahead in maturity than most men my age because of the life I chose.

She also said most men live with their parents or with roommates and are desperately trying to hold onto their youth.

My new perspective of myself is that I am a rare type of man. I dont need anyone to take care of me. I also dont need to take care of anyone but my kids. I know that when I am ready I will find a woman that is willing to invest into a mutually beneficial relationship with me so that we can both grow together and support each others goals and desires.

It's amazing how much of a wake up call one gets when they get betrayed. I think to myself "was I really settling that much for what I had?"

Yes, I was. I was resigned to the fact that my WW was all I could get. I now know that's so untrue.