Whirlwind of Hurt 6

[Again18]

TF- The OM is a distraction to your WW and as long as she sees him as a viable option she will continue to justify her actions and she has to demonize you in order to justify her selfish actions. She's justifying to herself that she has the better option in the OM. The thing to remember is that she hasn't dropped you in her mind she is thinking about you probably more than the OM. She tries to bait you into arguments, make you mad, lose your temper, or even a powerful one get you to make controlling acts and snooping would be one of those trying to keep control. You may not see your actions as controlling but she will take just about any action as controlling and she will use that in her mind to justify her actions. She's a different person because she has to be in order to justify why her actions are okay. The only way to counter that is detachment. She will bait you so when she calls and says we have to make a decision on this you need to decide if it's a fight you are willing to fight. The kids are paying a price for her selfish actions. But less contact with her can only mean less conflict. She calls don't answer at first. If she texts you don't be afraid to text back busy I'll get in touch with you later. And then when you do. She will probably bring something up that really in the grand scheme of things is not at all important and you need to treat it as such. Simple okay to pissy demands doesn't mean you have to follow through just say ok, and then is that all because I have to get ready for something. No details and please don't ask her what she's been up to or doing? Don't snoop let her be free, because freedom will make her wonder if you care and the little signs you will notice will be calls and text of hey how you doing? What of you been up to? Things like that. When that happens don't respond with details come back here and ask for advice because those are signs but you wont' want to rush when you see them. It's a whole different dating game and you will need advice from people on here who have been through it before yo mess it up because it's a fragile time. But you really right now need to let go. It's the only chance of possibly getting your old wife back.