Uncertain of What I Have (Thread 3)

[Twofeet]

Just be prepared to understand what the worst case is and leave it at that. Circular thinking, ruminations, run away thinking all lead to anxiety and dark thoughts. LH19 once told me your worse fears are usually unfounded. Pretty much everything he has told me has been pretty spot on.

The S (and you may do this yourself) want to have talks late at night to wear you down so they can get you to give in, side with them, and/or so they can get their way. Its something my W would often do to me and I would have to catch myself and stop it because it always lead nowhere.

If this is your BD coming then listen, validate (emotions not actions), mirror the tone. Please don't do what the majority of us LBS do. Please don't beg, plead, bargain, attempt to reason. This is a decision based on her emotions right now. If you get emotional and cry then you cry, but try not to turn into a blubbering mess. Appear to come from a point of strength not weakness.