marina - I told you long ago, well seems like long ago, that you captured my attention.
Dear girl, you have been, and are, a remarkable person, a remarkable woman. You have shown such strength and keep stand tall in the face of all this adversity. Well done!
You see W’s actions for what they are, and you now respond instead of react. You are well detached, letting go, and following your beliefs. As indifference grows watch your feelings, new ones will spring up to fill the void. You are not trying to stop them, just realize and acknowledge them, they are true and real, until they disappear - fleeting. Lean on detachment and your beliefs to get you through this reorganization of thought and heart.
Originally Posted by marina7
How do we LBS try to reconcile with MLCERS When they literally redo their life
You don’t try.
You focus on you and kids, build your own life with out her, like she is never coming back. You detach, let go, accept, forgive - all the while love and hope are alive.
It is more do or do not.
If W awakens and starts to return from her new life, and she and you, both choose to walk paths towards reconciliation and rebuilding, you do that, you walk that path.
If W remains in new life or partly in new life, and she dumps OW, you can see if this new person interests you. That would be leaning a lot more to the building a new relationship with this new person vs reconciliation.
Those are a ways off, and there are a lot more possibilities than two.
Right now everything you are doing is for you (and kids). Know who you are, know your core, and follow that. The future is unknown and will be revealed soon enough. W still needs time and space to work through her issues. Be patient - this is going to take some time.
I love the addition to your family. The trios must have been thrilled. How old is the pup? Who named him?
You have so got this.
Remarkable.
DnJ
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
