20 minutes on stationary bike 30 push-ups 25 butterfly sit-ups (When changing shirts earlier today, I twisted to reach something in front of the mirror in our bathroom, and I’m really seeing some definition appear in my abs—loving that part)
Took the boys to the park, again (3 days in a row). We will have some adventures next week, too. As I was bottle-feeding YS at the park, a tall blonde woman in nursing scrubs approached me to start a conversation. She wanted to spread the good news of Jesus and all that. I told her that we’re Catholic, so we’re good—we get it. We exchanged names, and she asked me if there was anything that she could pray about for me. I told her ‘my family.’
Received my copy of ‘The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck’ in the mail today.
Made a phone call to a membership coordinator for our parish’s Knights of Columbus.
Made an appointment with a LMFT (covered by our insurance) for after the New Year.
Today was a mixed bag from the W. As she left for work, she made a comment to OS—he asked her what she said, and she said ‘loves—as in the two of you’ (meaning OS and YS). I know, I know—not detached, but that kinda stung a bit.
But what’s weird is that she’s seemed really nice to me today—must be a Friday thing, as it seemed to be like that last Friday. I get it—don’t read too much into anything. Before she left for work, she asked if we needed anything for her to pick up on her way back. While at the park, she texted me to tell me she was on the way home and stopping for coffee, and if I wanted anything. While she made dinner, I was playing with YS, and she leaned over the love seat where we were, and she was talking with YS while I was playing with him. She served me dinner (one thing I have NOT being doing for her recently), asked me if I liked it, and put out the chili paste in case I thought it needed more spice (I love spicy food).
I was thinking about this while with the boys at the park earlier this afternoon: I know I’m not as detached as I should be, but I’m just having my doubts. Get your 2x4s ready, everyone. I just wonder if I’m pulling too far back from her—I don’t want to completely and totally alienate her. I know my sitch doesn’t appear as extreme as others on this board, so I’m wondering 1.) Am I doing this right (probably still too early to tell) 2.) Am I right to even be doing this (DBing) at all, given my sitch? I know it’s better to confess my doubts here than elsewhere.
But then I remember: I’m doing this so I hopefully don’t end up in an even worse sitch down the road. That is the hope. I also have to remember the ILYBINILWY, her mentioning back in October a potential break / S later on, and there’s the withholding of affection / sex.
