Hello all, need to vent a little. Have had no contact all week. Been feeling good, I am accepting that fact that’s it’s over, but I still feel angry towards her for our fight last week.
Tonight (Friday) she texted me and said “Hi (lost) how are you? When can we talk?” So I said “about what” and she said “I thought you were going to work on the divorce and you never got back to me” so I said “can’t talk now”. About 20 minutes later she texted me again “I feel bad that we are like this. You always say that you’ll be there for me and things like that, and look now you won’t talk to me and you only want to fight with me”. I said “it’s better that we don’t talk” and she said “let’s just get divorced and you’ll never hear from me again if thats what you want” I didn’t respond.
(Here comes the venting aka what I wanted to say lol): If that’s what I want?? Of course that’s not what I want and you know that!! I want us to work it out and grow as a couple and make this work. You’re the one giving up. I can’t be your friend or see you or even be there for you . It hurts too much and you don’t deserve it.
I know I could make things easier for her and file myself and get it over with. But the whole time we were together and even after BD I always tried to make life easy for her. Now it’s on her, she has my address to file for divorce and have them serve me the papers. In my state you can apply to file for divorce for free and they even have free legal aid. So there is nothing stopping her from filing.
Seems weird that she’s texting me on a Friday night about divorce. Shouldn’t she be out partying it up or something? I’m actually afraid to have a convo with her. I just know she’ll start attacking me again and I cant take it. My plan is to have no contact with her unless she specifically comes to me and says that she wants to work it out (and now I know exactly how to take it from there). At this point I don’t think that will happen, so I’m working on getting over it day by day. If you have any other advice or comments I’d love to hear it and as always I appreciate you guys, I’d be really lost without this community!
