Yes...that’s the ticket. That concept took me awhile to get. I realized that I have been lonely for a long time and that I had been living with the idea of my H for a long time. When I did see him, he was preoccupied, irritable and distant. I got so used to that presentation, I stopped wanting or expecting more because I thought it was just a by-product of his illness and treatment regime. It wasn’t. It was him detaching from me (and not in a loving way) and living a life of lies. It is better to be alone than to be lonely in a one-sided relationship that chips away at your self esteem. I’m like you. I don’t want someone else right now. I loved my H wholeheartedly and unconditionally and that isn’t something you just turn off. I need to grieve the loss of my marriage first and find me again. BTW...I cannot wait to read your future posts when you tell us you can’t believe how much better your life is and that you ever doubted it would be. (((TJT)))
